A while back I shared some common proverbs that I had fun rewriting.  Here’s another batch for you.

The best-laid plans always belong to someone else.

I think, therefore I am confused.

The health nut’s axiom:  “Let them eat tofu!.

The garbage collectors axiom: One man’s trash is another man’s paycheck.

If the shoe fits, buy it for heaven’s sake!

People who live in glass houses should fear hailstones.

You made your bed.  Now clean your room.

As soon as man is born he begins to talk on his cell phone

Better late than never until the plane leaves without you.

Every family has too much in their closets

If a job is worth doing, it’s worth asking for a raise.

If life is a bowl of cherries, then why do mine always end up on top of ice cream?

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. He might have bad breath.

Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and IRS audits.

The bigger they are, the more they eat.

The more you get, the more storage space you need.

There’s no fool like a young fool who’s bound to live a long and foolish life.

There’s no place like the library.

Two’s company. Three means someone’s crashed your date.

When the cat’s away, the dog plans an ambush.

Where there’s a will, there are greedy relatives.

Opportunity knocks but once so don’t lock your door.