For the past fifteen months, a loved one has been battling double breast cancer that spread to her lungs and bones before it was diagnosed and treatment began. With determined faith, she is standing on God’s Word for healing and refuses to accept any outcome other than full recovery.

Why would God allow this vibrant, talented young woman to fall prey to such an affliction? She has been a natural food proponent for years, living a very healthy lifestyle. Her biggest dream is to marry and have children and to find an outlet for her artistic abilities. Now all that seems to be slipping away.

Sometimes the pain and outward appearance of our situation flies in the face of everything we thought we knew about God, defies all logic and fairness. God seems nonexistent or at best, distant and uncaring.

Yet trust in God is at its finest when there seems to be no reasonable basis for faith. It is tempting to turn our backs on the Lord and give in to despair or bitterness—to think that perhaps the world has a solution. But every question about suffering, no matter how excruciating the agony, can turn us back to the cross and the One Who died upon it.

Imagine how Jesus’ disciples must have felt that black day. Their hero hung helpless, nails through His hands and feet, experiencing unspeakable pain. His enemies mocked Him. “If You’re the Son of God, why don’t you come down off the cross?  You healed others.  Why can’t you heal Yourself?”

Maybe those words echoed the silent questions in the hearts of the disciples. They’d followed Christ loyally for three years, loved Him, learned from Him, and gone out in His name to spread the news of the Kingdom.  But now what fear, what confusion, lost in a sea of doubt of sorrow, and complete disillusionment. Where had all the power gone? Where was the kingdom He’d spoken of? They had been so sure He was the Messiah, the one to deliver Israel from her oppressors. He’d healed thousands, cast out demons, even raised the dead. He’d taught with wisdom and authority, unlike anyone they’d ever heard—new things that cast life in a whole new light. He confronted the selfish, merciless hypocrisy of the corrupt religious leaders and their godless mores and put people and their needs first.

So why doesn’t He save Himself? they must have wondered. Can’t He see we need Him?  Why not come down off the cross as those hecklers dared Him to? Show them Who’s boss, Who really has God’s favor.  It would be His greatest miracle yet.

Did they remember the day Jesus heard that His best friend Lazarus was gravely ill, He delayed for two days, then told His followers that the sickness would not be the end for his friend. Instead, it would be an opportunity for greater glory to come to the Father and one more reason for the disciples to believe.

When Jesus arrived at Lazarus’ home, his friend had already been dead four days and place in a tomb. Lazarus’s grief-stricken sisters rushed out to meet Him.

“If You had been here, my brother would not have died,” Martha remonstrated.

“Your brother will come to life again.”

“I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time,” Martha replied.

“You don’t have to wait till then. I am the Resurrection and Life. Whoever believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live again. And all who live believing in Me won’t truly die at all. Do you believe?”

To Mary and Martha, Jesus was too late. Didn’t He care? Why hadn’t He come as soon as they sent word?  Surely all was lost. Their Master had failed them. But Jesus proceeded to raise their brother from the dead, a far greater miracle than healing. The “wow” factor was off the charts and God indeed received greater glory and honor.

The disciples clung to the last tenuous threads of their faith as they watched their beloved Teacher die and their dreams with Him. It would have been awesome indeed if Jesus had come down off the cross. But the whole process of salvation would have been aborted. There would have been no punishment for sins, no death in our place. Those glorious, heart pounding words would never have been spoken, “Oh death, where is your victory? Oh death, where is Your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55

When we turn to the cross and see all that Jesus gave up, all He and the Father suffered that day, our questions melt away. Only Jesus, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God, was worthy to suffer the penalty for all our sins. That is a level of agony impossible for any of us to experience.

Isaiah 53 says that Jesus was, “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” It also says He was “oppressed and afflicted” and “smitten by God.” Jesus knew pain better than any of us. But He also knew there was a greater plan—something those disciples forgot that black day on Golgotha’s hill.

When He appeared alive to them after his crucifixion and burial they were left reeling with amazement, brains numb with the immensity of it all. When the promised Holy Spirit later set them ablaze with the same power that was in their Master, they spread that fire to the world. And when torture and martyrdom came, they didn’t turn away. Instead, they rejoiced to suffer for His sake because they remembered His trials on their behalf.  They knew He felt pain their along with them and had handed them the victory.

Let us remain faithful too, through our own confusion, anguish, bewilderment, and fears. Let us run into the arms of the One Who shed His blood and bore our sins. Let us know He weeps and hurts with us but also offers hope, peace and surprising joy. We can rejoice that one day, death, suffering, and injustice must bow before the Lord of triumph and glory.  And we will say with Paul the Apostle, “[But what of that?] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and [a]for us and [b]conferred on us!”  Romans 8:18, Amplified Bible