I was cleaning out my filing cabinet the other day and came upon a folder full of birthday and Christmas cards I’d saved because they were unique or beautiful. Also in the folder were a couple of assignments I’d done in my 10th-grade writing class. One unforgettable project was the result of the teacher asking us to go through the telephone book and pick out comical or unusual names of real people. I found some doozies I thought I’d share with you. To keep things interesting, I guessed at what career these men and women might have chosen—or careers I hope they didn’t choose.
Cyril Crane – Construction
Homer Stork – Obstetrician
Dale Trick – Magician/Illusionist
Samuel Drybread, Jr. – Baker
James Dull – Knife sharpener
Mrs. Mae I Lied (pronounced as, “leed.”) Politician
J. W. Hair – Barber
Richard R. Crumbling – Builder
Eugene Dippery – Ice Cream stand
Anna Mae Dolly – Dollmaker
Donald Fudge – Candy Maker
Karl Grab – Stockbroker
Jack M. Horner – Nursery rhyme writer
Gerald Grumbling – Counselor
Eugene Lucky – Gambler
Edgar Polite – Etiquette Instructor
William T. Blew – Meteorologist
E.Eugene Duck – Understudy to Donald
Donald S. Famous – Celebrity
Ronald E. Mountain – Park ranger
Lester R. Moist – Diver
C.J. Chunko – Professional wrestler
Tommy Clapsaddle – Cowboy
Raymond H. Husband – Marriage counselor
And here’s two guys you wouldn’t want to see on your day in court:
Michael Judge
Daniel Jury
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